tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83319312012-02-18T05:18:46.427-05:00How can you go wrong with categories like "Tales From the Carpool Lane?"Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.comBlogger2261100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-61789111099565051382010-11-25T12:40:00.000-05:002010-11-25T12:43:21.158-05:00

Much like Christmas, I find the stress of Thanksgiving nearly unbearable....which is likely why I'm hiding out in my car in front of my in-laws instead of socializing like I should be.And I have a serious case of PMS. This is shaping up to be a very fine day.Hopefully, you enjoy yours.......

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-70505404163397113632010-11-10T19:23:00.004-05:002010-11-10T19:37:55.231-05:00

I know, I know. It's been a while.A long while in fact. And I just want you to know that I'm sorry.But having an infant in the house keeps me hella-busy.Anyway, the last time I wrote I was covered in baby shit and breast milk.I'm happy to report that I am now only covered in baby shit. I am able to sleep through the night (for the most part). I am back to working thanks in large part to J, my

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-51212358297102872492010-02-25T06:26:00.004-05:002010-02-25T06:34:42.221-05:00

Once upon a time, I took a clean shirt for granted.No longer is that the case, I can assure you.After being home with The Other Kid for two weeks, I can honestly say that I don't even bother getting out of my pajamas unless I'm going somewhere really important - and by important I mean the pediatrician's office where you have to look put together or they might call DHHS and report you as unfit.I

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-25623148139091145902010-01-05T07:03:00.003-05:002010-01-05T07:44:02.319-05:00

I'm typically a loyal Hannaford shopper. Close to home and with reasonable prices, it's a no-brainer. However, in an effort to save a buck, I made the executive decision that I would travel to the new Super Wal*Mart in Scarborough to get groceries this week. I was stocking up, not wanting to have to go to the grocery store for at least two weeks and thought the home of cheap would be a good idea.

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-67924130130830650902009-12-08T04:43:00.002-05:002009-12-08T04:53:38.516-05:00

Wow, we're getting down to the wire here. Although, I guess if I feel like 8 weeks is, "down to the wire," then once we only have a few weeks to to I'll be jumping off furniture trying to put myself into labor. And while my pregnancy is going admittedly very smoothly, I'm ready to have this baby. Little Miss Ella has taken up residence right on my Sciatic nerve and it's killing me. Sleep is done

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-28702155944771085482009-10-23T08:06:00.002-05:002009-10-23T08:18:23.093-05:00

And I'm not talking "old" like my grammie and grampie (in their late 80's), I'm talking about those damn meme's that are in their 60's and have bad dye-jobs.I just left an intramural soccer game at The Kid's school and I was sitting behind one of these meme's, which is where my bad mood started. Keep in mind that this was an intramural game - no high stakes, no trophies, no World Cup, just a

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-79466154785344609072009-10-15T09:31:00.003-05:002009-10-15T09:45:44.341-05:00

I was sitting in a client meeting yesterday with my legs crossed ever so daintily (which, btw, is no easy feat when you've got a protruding belly). I had an itch on the back of my thigh and when I rubbed my hand over it to scratch it, I actually FELT cellulite THROUGH my pants.Seriously?!?And while the doctor assures me that my 15 lb. weight gain over the last 24 weeks is entirely normal, I'm so

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-79690883204761045852009-09-15T12:45:00.004-05:002009-09-15T12:59:01.211-05:00

Last week we went in for the standard 18-20 week anatomy scan of the baby. For weeks, the boy has stressed about his reaction if it wasn't a boy. I assured him that, if he were to swear out loud, it would be okay - he's surely not the first dad to be pissed off that they're having a girl instead of the coveted boy.Instead, I was the one swearing. No, more like demanding that the ultrasound tech

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-81740708979176830202009-09-04T08:54:00.002-05:002009-09-04T09:29:23.177-05:00

So yeah, the weekend officially ended like, 5 days ago. And there is a new one starting in approximately 7 hours, but hey, who's counting? And the fact that I'm just getting around to posting about my ever-so-exciting weekend of last, we're all just gonna go with it.#1. I found shit in my bathroom cabinet. Not like crap that people don't bother putting away - actual HUMAN FECES folks. On toilet

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-23709323380373115122009-08-29T07:47:00.003-05:002009-08-29T07:56:16.441-05:00

I truly believe that summer is over. Although we're supposed to reach 80 in a few days, it won't be the same 80 that we had last week.And that's just fine with me. 80 and humid sucks - when you're pregnant, it sucks even more.We're slowly getting ready to ease back into a routine. The kid is excited to go back to school, I'm excited to do the same and my mind is swimming with all the things I

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-37566536897251550132009-08-06T05:37:00.003-05:002009-08-06T05:49:11.377-05:00

Being pregnant is a lot like having constant PMS.If you're a man, you only know that this means I'm being bitchy.If you're a woman, you know that this means I'm tired, bitchy, feeling ginormous, having headaches, not sleeping well, have swelling feet and back pain.So, here's the scoop. I'm totally not complaining - I'm only stating the absolute truth. My family is currently walking on eggshells,

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-11211486987362930772009-07-26T09:14:00.002-05:002009-07-26T09:28:20.181-05:00

Summer vacation is half-way over and our 1st trimester is at a close.Hallelujah.Overall, I'm not as crazy as I thought I would be with the kid home all the time, and my moodiness has nearly disappeared. What I am totally disgusted with is the weather - why has it rained all summer?Last week my sister came for a visit, which was fun, and the weather was good so we weren't cooped up inside.

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-84935538019624619712009-06-17T05:47:00.004-05:002009-06-17T06:12:25.276-05:00

So today begins my unravelling. Really.At noon today, summer vacation will begin.Summer vacation is always a challenge at our house. The kid is just old enough that she feels she should be able to run free and rampant all over town, yet not quite old enough to make that happen. Which means that I either have to a) drive her everywhere, or b) tell her she can't go and listen to her whine and

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-57276112601193288972009-06-05T13:21:00.002-05:002009-06-05T13:31:16.201-05:00

I actually had someone tell me today that they thought I'd closed the doors on my blog - can you imagine?As if.What I have done though is be completely ignoring it.There's a good reason - I promise. It's mostly because I've been totally uninspired to write anything snarky and I don't find myself funny AT ALL unless I'm making fun of someone - like my kid, or the boy, or random strangers.However,

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-9892118265066790182009-05-20T09:41:00.000-05:002009-05-20T10:00:03.814-05:00

So we've been in the city for 3 days and we're just getting around to hitting the touristy stuff. We've been busy stuffing our faces with too much food to list; I feel like a fat ass for sure. Too bad we leave tomorrow.Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-88589350039604558622009-05-18T10:02:00.000-05:002009-05-18T10:00:29.587-05:00

Yesterday, the kid turned the big 1-0. A major event. And it hasn't just been a birthDAY, but a birthWEEKEND.. There has been breakfast out, nail services, blue streaking of the hair, and now the trip to NYC.The flight down was good - actually great - but the shuttle rides sucks. I've nearly shit my pants several different times already. My stomach is growling and I have to take a piss. And we're

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-51162274364266665532009-05-16T06:02:00.001-05:002009-05-16T06:23:56.729-05:00

Recently, the weather has been nice enough that the kid and her friend can actually walk home from school together. To walk home from her school, there are two routes: stay on the sidewalk or walk through the woods behind the baseball fields.So, the only rule has been, "stay on the sidewalk."Of course, the kid has questioned why.So I explained that sometimes older kids hang out back there,

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-76066855551338541512009-04-07T05:52:00.005-05:002009-04-10T06:27:57.586-05:00

Amazing things happen when you get up really early in the morning with a needy dog. And for whatever reason, these damn commercials seem to creep up on CNN of all places.A few weeks ago, I was talking about SugarDaddie.com - the site where the wealthy find love. If you happen to be a wealthy woman, a man can find you by searching for a SugarMomma.Now, maybe I was the only person under the

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-29459300860017431022009-04-07T05:50:00.002-05:002009-04-07T05:52:08.376-05:00

I'm completely loving this. Why? Because they use no instruments. Totally worth watching.I would have embedded it, but YouTube wouldn't let me.: (

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-30386154085812607432009-04-06T04:27:00.004-05:002009-04-06T04:43:51.948-05:00

Yesterday was a nice day here in Maine. Sunny, nearly 60, very little breeze.Come to think of it, it's the kind of weather we should be having right now, but since winter won't seem to leave, it's like a this great big treat when we actually get there.But in Maine, because our winter season seems to last forever, people get a little crazy when the weather gets warm. And not really in a good

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-19660321958887016032009-04-05T06:22:00.003-05:002009-04-05T07:22:56.492-05:00

This morning when I got up and tinkled, I realized, too late, that we were out of toilet paper.I looked in the bathroom cabinet. Nil.I looked for a box of tissues. Nada.Dammit. Now what? Ugh. Drip Dry.So I come downstairs to look in what we lovingly refer to as "the bomb shelter." The big closet in the basement that stores the bottled water, the canned goods, the Coleman camping stove, and tons

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-26606258614068373542009-04-03T14:17:00.001-05:002009-04-03T14:19:18.894-05:00

All I can say is, clear the room of kids first, watch second.Thanks Aaron for sending this along....you made my Friday.

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-14853360116920055202009-04-03T06:30:00.009-05:002009-04-03T08:14:47.972-05:00

I'd had several cases of......"you know you're an asshole when".....things happen this week.The first one was on Wednesday when I forgot my child at school. That's right. I forgot her. She actually had to call me and ask me where I was. In my defense, I was sleep deprived and had my mind on women's land rights in Ghana due to a doctoral thesis that I was editing, but still, I forgot her.Worse

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-2488336705399823052009-03-30T17:07:00.002-05:002009-03-30T17:14:29.504-05:00

The other day I was browsing the interweb (as the boy calls it), looking for some information about ovulation.Exciting, I know.But then I come across this website where there are hoards of women discussing their fertility problems and how they are seemingly unable to conceive.Here's what struck me. This was not just a discussion about trying to conceive, it was a conversation about how to get

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-87881742094781565252009-03-23T15:51:00.002-05:002009-03-23T16:00:59.374-05:00

I got a note from my daughter today - a note in which she was very displeased with me.But first, a little background.Waaaayyyy back in January, I pre-ordered the Twilight movie from Borders. While it shipped on Friday of last week, the FedEx website reports that it will not arrive on our doorstep until the 27th. Of course, the kid is freaking out over that. In an effort to make it up to her, I

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-41183300605544200592009-03-21T17:55:00.005-05:002009-03-21T18:14:49.298-05:00

Have you seen this show? TLC's Toddlers and Tiaras?This show is absolutely disgusting. Unbelievable. Does this look like the face of a happy child?During the course of the show I watched her mother berate her, force her to get a spray tan, force her to wear makeup, and coach her through an entire routine designed to "flirt."Here's what else I observed:Every stage mom is fat - many are bordering

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-73003221305052841782009-03-14T19:10:00.002-05:002009-03-14T19:17:20.116-05:00

It's pretty simple. It's a total time-suck.I spend so much time on Facebook that I rarely get anything accomplished anymore.And if I'm not at my computer on FB, I'm using it from my CrackBerry.Combine that with my Twitter addiction and it's over. Someone call the doctor because I need to be committed. Seriously.But it's ruining my life for other reasons as well. For example, I'm catching up with

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-8663055323828656342009-03-14T08:35:00.003-05:002009-03-14T08:51:39.077-05:00

So we all know that I write for a living, yes?And we also all know that my sense of humor can be slightly off-color, snarky, and wholly inappropriate. In fact, I regularly offend people, like those in Sanford.Now, it's not secret that I write for a couple of big companies that have legal departments with the ability to pull the plug on any article I come up with; so for the most part, I try to

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-39357439129250499772009-03-12T11:51:00.003-05:002009-03-12T12:30:13.756-05:00

I am not allowed to drive the truck that sits in our driveway - that's his truck. Just because of some little dent I put in his old truck, he claims that I am far too reckless and irresponsible to drive the new truck. Apparently it doesn't matter that my name is on the loan.Why is this important? Read on.I drive a 1998 VW Wagon. And I love my car, don't get me wrong. But indeed, it is possessed

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-6321353894141614022009-03-04T14:38:00.003-05:002009-03-04T14:46:50.269-05:00

I have a lot of friends that refuse to shop with their other half, simply because there is always an argument at the store. Whether it's over what to buy, how much they're spending, or just what section of the store to start in (produce or dairy), they've all got a story.I, on the other hand, don't mind shopping with the boy. Sure he usually tries to sneak Yodel's in the cart, and he often begs

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-31048614954865199252009-03-03T10:46:00.002-05:002009-03-03T10:51:17.982-05:00

Me: I'm impressed with your recent willingness to try new foods.The Kid: Yeah, those wraps were pretty good - but don't buy other ones.Me: Why not?The Kid: Those are the only kind I like.Me: Well, that's not a bad thing, they have lots of good Omega-3's in them. You know, fatty acids are good for you.The Kid: What?!?Me: Fatty acids are good for you.The Kid: How on Earth are Fatty Asses good for

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-78534429885464318932009-02-27T06:12:00.003-05:002009-02-27T06:24:07.884-05:00

Clearly, I've been out of the loop for a while - roughly 6 weeks to be exact. But really, there's been good reason:1. I've been really busy. Like, working crazy amounts of hours, and by the time I'm done, I have nothing left to give my little blog.2. I have a dog that's been getting me up at 4:30 to use the bathroom; at the end of the day, I'm simply exhausted.3. I've been trying to avoid the

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-58270509244514016212009-01-12T17:40:00.003-05:002009-01-12T18:05:26.458-05:00

Some of my friends are "hunting widows." And while their husbands are out hunting, they piss and moan about how they're home all by themselves.WTF? Are you kidding me?How long is hunting season? A month? Maybe 6 weeks?Here's the deal. Embrace it. Sit your ass on the couch in your underwear and watch endless seasons of old 90's sitcoms like the original 90210 or TIVO soap operas and enjoy the

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-81252103023347051202009-01-07T17:06:00.002-05:002009-01-07T17:14:38.155-05:00

The beginning of my New Year has been hectic and crazy. Even though I've gotten a ton done, I feel like I've gotten nothing done; it's frustrating.So how about you? Anything exciting? Did you get what you wanted for Christmas? Did you paint the town red on New Year's Eve?I spent much of the week between Christmas and New Year's playing my new Wii Fit. I'm a big fan of the hula-hooping. And I'm

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-31338896026092694222008-12-24T07:19:00.002-05:002008-12-24T07:33:24.639-05:00

Have you seen it yet?I just watched it last night. I love Ben Stiller, find Jack Black to be hysterical, and have a mad crazy crush on Robert Downey Jr. so it was a natural pick for me. While I thought the movie started out a little slow and not so piss-your-pants-laughing funny, it quickly turned for the good.So loudly was I laughing that the kid came downstairs and asked me to keep it down

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-38961541249861723842008-12-21T18:41:00.002-05:002008-12-21T18:55:17.311-05:00

I got this really hair-brained idea lately that I should start keeping a gratitude journal. Nothing fancy, just a few notes every morning about the things in my life that I'm grateful for. The purpose of the exercise was to try and pep me up. Make me a happy gal. Get me out of my funk.Now, maybe I'm a little sick and twisted, but the shit I'm thankful for is really pretty lame. And when I'm

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-3062491270971713552008-12-13T06:43:00.003-05:002008-12-13T07:00:26.951-05:00

So I was trolling the Internet yesterday trying to find some panda-related goods for the kid and came across this store. In it, they are selling the knitting pattern for this sweater, which I find disturbing for several reasons. Not only is it heinously ugly, it's advertised as a women's sweater.Do you know any woman that would wear this? If you do, it's your duty to advise them that this is

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-59274671489773590112008-12-02T07:09:00.006-05:002008-12-02T07:31:46.237-05:00

One thing I love most about the boy is his predictability in most situations. For example, you can count on the fact that if the cat is crying to get fed in the morning, he'll tell her to shut-up on his way to the coffee pot, instead of just feeding her.Or, if he comes home from work and he's grouchy, you can make fun of him and he'll actually laugh at how stupid he's acting. You can always

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-54879785447286708762008-12-01T09:07:00.004-05:002008-12-01T09:24:47.059-05:00

But I promise that I've had a majorly good excuse. Really.First, I had to get ready for Thanksgiving with my grandparents - you know, the now 86-year-old grandmother who calls me a whore and questions how I raise my daughter every time she sees me? Oh yeah, that one. In anticipation, I decided to cook a little side-dish as sort of a, "look at me grammie, really, I'm a grown-up. I even cook." I

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-37811829355906093562008-11-19T06:39:00.008-05:002008-11-19T07:43:43.284-05:00

I've noticed that since I've declared that I don't care if we ever get pregnant, the boy has suddenly become incredibly invested in things.It's sort of the same thing that happened when I was half-heartedly trying to plan a wedding and he kept putting things off; I finally came home and said, "I've decided I don't want to marry you. I've got the pretty ring, the house, the two dogs, the kid, and

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-5037602415890639672008-11-10T10:32:00.002-05:002008-11-10T10:39:30.386-05:00

Wow! Where the hell have I been? I honestly didn't realize that it's been almost two weeks since I posted anything here.So, what have I been up to? Well, for one, I've got all sorts of friends having babies right now. So, I've been doing my best to generally avoid them and keep to myself. And yes, I'm still pining away for a baby. Ugh. Does this nonsense ever stop? Like, at some point can I

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-29333508089140144632008-10-28T06:11:00.002-05:002008-10-28T06:57:11.885-05:00

The boy and I ventured out on a date night this weekend - I know, amazing, isn't it? What was even more amazing was that, it was the first date night in a while where we didn't spend $150 between dinner and a babysitter because the kid had a sleepover party to go to. Yee Haw!!So we went back to a local favorite of ours, The Frog and Turtle, so I could very unsexily gorge myself on poutine again

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-47113387458849646302008-10-20T09:04:00.003-05:002008-10-20T09:14:20.124-05:00

I remember being in 4th or 5th grade the first time we had a class about our bodies changing. In fact, I remember it vividly, being ushered into the school gym, one of those big projector screens looming above us up front, and then the screens with black backgrounds and white lettering.Amazing how that first sex-ed class scars you for life, isn't it?Several weeks ago, the kid brought home a

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-17813777835335025182008-10-16T11:48:00.003-05:002008-10-16T11:55:09.175-05:00

And no, this isn't going to be all x-rated and stuff. But here's the deal. Last night I spent my evening at the pool, which is the same as almost every other night of the week. But last night, one of the mom's, who is notoriously snobby, and who just happens to drive a mini-van, flashed her thong.And guess what? It was holey.Not holy as in religious. Holey as in, her cotton Vicki's Secret

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-77888450687469898072008-10-14T07:03:00.005-05:002008-10-14T07:20:10.042-05:00

So, after the skunking last Sunday, things really only got worse.Is that possible?Indeed, it is.Animal control informed us on Sunday that they would not come pick up the skunk. "We only deal with domesticated animals and we only work on Tuesday's and Wednesday's." Ok, great. So what if Kujo is prancing around my neighborhood on a Monday morning, then what? They informed us that we could

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-10569484233506504832008-10-06T06:28:00.003-05:002008-10-06T06:35:37.089-05:00

"When you think things can't get any worse, you're probably dead wrong."And so was the story of yesterday. After the dogs were both sprayed by the skunk, we thought the day could not get any worse. We used some pet-store remedy twice on them and left them outside to dry off.The boy left to run errands and the kid and I started painting her room. But then I heard Zoe barking.....a bark I had

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-63604829555597820762008-10-05T08:36:00.004-05:002008-10-05T08:50:22.885-05:00

Two weeks ago, I talked about our friendly skunk and his love of the boy's shoes.Well, he's arrived again.  In fact, he's living under our shed.  Which in the grand scheme of things is a nuisance,  but as long as he doesn't spray anything, I really don't care.Keywords, "as long as."This morning, when the boy let the dogs out, they immediately bee-lined for the back of the yard; at first, he

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-38326734410684309982008-09-30T15:34:00.002-05:002008-09-30T15:52:12.406-05:00

So, we recently visited the county fair. As was the case last year, there were far too many women wearing mom jeans, and a lot of obnoxious teenagers hitting the hippie lettuce and acting like idiots. It was truly an experience.This year, the kid brought a friend with her, which was great because it meant that the boy and I didn't have to ride on anything. This particular friend of hers is

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-50121329019794228232008-09-22T19:10:00.005-05:002008-09-22T19:22:12.215-05:00

For the last several days, I've been sitting in my office and smelling the very distinct stench of skunk. And I've pretty much lived with it because I figured that if there was a skunk spraying his stuff all over the yard, I was not wanting to get involved.So today, the boy comes home and I mention it to him. Thinking maybe he knows something about the skunk, or maybe, perhaps, he should be

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-48380830351823546572008-09-15T09:36:00.003-05:002008-09-15T09:45:22.044-05:00

I realize that I've been an ass and have completely ignored and neglected this little blog as of late. But I have an excuse.I turned 31. And I seemingly had some adverse reaction to it which left me cranky and wanting to do nothing but mope around the house in sweatpants and wife beaters. It was pretty ugly.Then this weekend, the boy and I had a date night with our friends who recently moved

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-48217685278654087672008-09-08T12:11:00.002-05:002008-09-08T12:19:20.583-05:00

Recently I was looking back through my work logs from the last 8 months.  I'm not sure what prompted it, but I guess maybe I needed to feel like I actually have gotten something accomplished over the course of this year.  What I felt when I was done though was sheer exhaustion.I realized that, over these last 8 months, I have only had 32 days that I have not been working.  And none of them were

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-52431200885568656172008-09-03T19:20:00.008-05:002008-09-03T19:31:35.261-05:00

So earlier today I was over at Saving with Style to post about Clothes Off Our Back - an auction site where you can grab celebrity gear and know that you money is going to fight childhood hunger. Now, before you groan and click away.......Imagine my surprise when I saw this.Crack me right the f*ck up. I'm thinking about blowing this up to poster size and hanging it in the house somewhere. Do

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-89563562446038970732008-08-30T08:53:00.003-05:002008-08-30T09:15:41.803-05:00

Several month's ago, the kid took apart her bed, hauled it all to the curb, and declared that she didn't want it anymore. In fact, what she wanted was to have her bed on the floor - it was "cozier."Well, the novelty of that horse and pony show has worn off, and she now wants a new bed.We tried to talk her into taking our bed, so we could move up a size. After all, what kid doesn't want a full

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-61896411402271345302008-08-26T05:53:00.002-05:002008-08-26T06:07:07.443-05:00

So, it seems that over the course of the next two weeks, my smiling face will be delivered to 2 million inboxes around the country, courtesy of Upromise.com.Dear Sweet Gentle Jesus.Don't get me wrong, the Upromise site is great - in fact, if you have children and you're reading this, and you're NOT signed up for Upromise, you're ca.razy.  Free money for college....hello?!? Miss Sydi has been a

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-15989293875428275842008-08-20T18:16:00.002-05:002008-08-20T18:27:48.890-05:00

That's right b-yotch. I played Martha Stewart today. So at my house, what does that look like? A little something like this.But instead of all sorts of boxes of Christmas goodies, today it was just lots of chocolate chip cookies and two loaves of homemade bread, courtesy of my step-mommas bread recipe. By the way, it's yummy. And if I get her permission, I might just put it up here.Anywho, I

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-3323973378675388842008-08-20T07:57:00.002-05:002008-08-20T08:00:42.446-05:00

I don't know how many of you have the luxury of sitting in your bathrobe, laptop on lap, watching the Today Show in the morning, but that pretty much sums up my life on most mornings. That's truly what I love about the freelance writer's life. Don't get me wrong, I work hard, but I also get some unadvertised perks.Anyway, while watching the Today Show this morning, I caught this segment on Hip

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-76546253636014382942008-08-18T19:42:00.002-05:002008-08-18T19:55:57.286-05:00

So it's official; No-Neck has become a man.Today was "learn to mow the lawn" day over at Leaf Blower and Mullet Mom's.  There's nothing better than looking out the window over a sandwich to see a sweaty and shirtless Leaf Blower teaching the kid how to mow the lawn.  And believe you me, it was a sight.Because Leaf Blower is a communist when it comes to his lawn (um, and basically everything else)

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-20967269246292154162008-08-12T08:47:00.002-05:002008-08-12T08:57:31.375-05:00

Honest to Christ, it has been raining for an unGODly amount of time. Like, it's seriously redonkulous.The school-shopping trip to the Big K turned out to be a total bust. It was raining that day too - actually, it was more like a deluge of water just streaming from the sky, leaving ginormous puddles in it's wake, but whatever. They had none of the clothes the kid wanted at Kmart, but we did

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-47614238376672038342008-08-04T06:26:00.004-05:002008-08-04T10:00:19.371-05:00

Until yesterday, I've never really come across a man that I considered beautiful.And that, my friends, was when I met one of our city's "finest,"........an employee of the police department. He was investigating a case of stolen property, to which I was a witness, but the entire time we were talking, all I could think about was how he looked far more like one of those strippers that shows up at

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-63415204658527158462008-08-01T05:59:00.003-05:002008-08-01T06:25:52.466-05:00

I'm pretty good at holding a grudge.  In fact, in some cases, I have a chip on my shoulder the size of the polar ice cap.....and I'm not melting nearly as quick.But, over time, I tend to let these things go.  Especially when I either haven't seen the person in a long time, or, I was not directly involved in a situation and I've just been carrying one of those "friend-grudges."  You know, the kind

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-89487387197126717872008-07-28T19:59:00.002-05:002008-07-28T20:08:19.663-05:00

A while ago, over at Saving with Style, I talked about how Kmart was decidedly, very uncool when I was a kid. Now, my own child, can't wait to go shopping there for school clothes. Here's a recent conversation that happened in the car between her and a friend.Friend: I'm going back to school shopping with my aunt. She's really rich and I can buy anything I want.Syd: Yeah, I'm going to a bunch

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-57612196067738679022008-07-23T20:34:00.002-05:002008-07-23T20:44:12.842-05:00

Morbidly obese individuals who find it acceptable to wear teeny-weeny-polka-dot-bikinis.Tourists that drive the wrong way on one-way streets.People at the beach that find it acceptable to let their kids run around in soggy, shitty diapers.Places like Funtown. This is where all the morbidly obese people hang out, in their teeny-weeny-polka-dot-bikinis, letting their kids run around in soggy,

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-71213510808245387612008-07-18T18:34:00.002-05:002008-07-18T18:47:08.321-05:00

While it would make sense for me to say something like, "the lobster," or "longer days," that's of course not what I'm going to say.  I love the tourists.  For a long time, I totally hated them. They do stupid things like walk out in front of your car or stop right in front of you on the sidewalk to proudly open their city map to figure out where the hell they're going.But now, it has become a

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-78040518145623390902008-07-13T15:54:00.002-05:002008-07-13T16:01:46.832-05:00

Recently, my life has taken me all over the place it seems. In my recent travels, I have seen and heard things that I feel must be shared. Why? Because I have nothing better to do.Seen:a very large man wearing a "brew crew" tshirt, taking a piss while smoking a cigarette next to a kerosene pump at the ghetto gas station.a naked man running through a hotel.two people having sex on the floor of

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-37538156101912628622008-07-07T18:49:00.002-05:002008-07-07T18:54:04.143-05:00

OK, the irony of this post will hopefully not be lost on anyone. In fact, I really don't need to say anything; just click here and read the story. If you want a better look, watch the video.Oh, and a quick shout out to KLJ....email me chickie, or call me.....let's knit!! I think my emails are not making it to you.....

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-68144030152052332132008-07-03T12:42:00.002-05:002008-07-03T12:49:48.841-05:00

For any of you that read this regularly, this is going to catch you by surprise. I'm going to get a little sappy here.One of the things that I truly love about working from home is the ability to respond to noon-time phone calls that go a little something like this:"Mom! Can you come to my show at noon?""It's noon right now.""Well, it starts at 12:30.""Ok, I'll be right there.""Thanks mom, I

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-70698211967558300632008-07-01T16:09:00.002-05:002008-07-01T16:24:43.805-05:00

This post will be primarily nonsense. Not nonsense like bullshit, but nonsense like, not making any sense.Some of you might wonder where I've been; other's of you are probably glad I haven't written. Either way, I've just been hella busy, so if you count on me to bring a little sunshine to your life, I apologize for my absence.If you only read this blog because I'm like a train wreck and you

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-19828841562864787172008-06-23T11:46:00.002-05:002008-06-23T11:59:46.558-05:00

This is shaping up to be a fine week already.  Not only did I have the issue with the non-English speaking call center reps, I've managed to completely infuriate someone from Sanford of all places.I didn't know they even had Internet access.Anyway, I jest, sort of.  But check out the lovely comment that was left for me.  I draw attention to it for several reasons.1.  The person who left it has no

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-18462705427525401922008-06-23T09:28:00.002-05:002008-06-23T09:32:32.776-05:00

I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say something I probably shouldn't.  And I'm only saying it because this has happened to me multiple times in the last two weeks, and it's really starting to piss me off.Why the fuck can't anyone that works for a telephone company, credit card company or mortgage company call center speak English properly?  Seriously.In the past two weeks, I have wasted

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-32704260697695209832008-06-20T16:20:00.008-05:002008-06-20T16:44:08.112-05:00

Well, I just looked at the calendar and realized that it's the first day of summer today. And it's raining and 60 degrees here; huh.On a happier note, I'm headed out for a girls' night, which likely spells not only trouble, but a great story tomorrow. The last time I was out with this same group, we managed to get kicked out of a bar that I think probably never kicks anyone out. It was quite an

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-86891903695300228832008-06-18T19:36:00.002-05:002008-06-18T19:47:06.200-05:00

One of the things about my job is that I have to keep myself on a pretty tight schedule.  I mean, on my calendar, I have specific time slots alloted for specific clients.  However, yesterday, I scored a majorly exciting gig; writing all of the catalog copy for Melie Bianco Bags for their new line.  So amazingly fab.  Can. Not. Even. Tell. You.That said, the copy needed to be done almost as

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-3976009499891766202008-06-16T17:03:00.003-05:002008-06-16T17:15:48.388-05:00

This goddamn dog is going to be the death of me; honestly.  It's not bad enough that he can physically jump a 4 1/2' fence without any effort, it's that he continues to do it ALL. THE. EFFING. TIME.And each time, one of us chases him all over the neighborhood, until he decides that he's so tired he just can't go on and he lays down, with his tongue hanging out of his mouth.  But once he lays down

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-18688716989941244702008-06-11T10:32:00.002-05:002008-06-11T10:45:32.546-05:00

I've always been a big believer in "you get what you ask for."  Even before that damn movie "The Secret" was out, I knew inherently that, if you put out bad vibes, you'd get them back; if you put out happy ones, you'll get them.  It's called karma.So, in general, I try to be pretty good-natured.  But, over the course of the last several days, I've been beaten down into submission from the

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-36000148987716111272008-06-07T05:28:00.003-05:002008-06-07T05:53:46.420-05:00

As I peeled my eyelids open at 6am and sat up, I was immediately reminded why I very rarely drink anymore. I'm pretty sure that it was because I didn't like the feeling of my brain trying to squeeze it's way out through my eardrums.So, a half-hour later, I've had two cups of coffee, two Excedrin Migraines, and a bowl of Fiber One with Blueberries. Although, my lame attempts at eating healthy this

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-29865834397856617512008-06-06T20:21:00.003-05:002008-06-07T06:00:35.724-05:00

I gotta say, there's nothing better than your brother with the pimped-out mini-van calling about protein drinks on a Friday night when you're drunk. The brother that loves NASCAR and has named his kid after a WWF wrestler has called to ask if protein drinks are what fills you up.Clearly, he thinks I'm the pinnacle of healthy living.He must not know that I'm currently eating seasoned french fries

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-4790293933429425272008-06-06T10:08:00.003-05:002008-06-06T10:17:28.908-05:00

I've been having some pretty piss-poor luck with food today.First, I tried to beat the garbage guy today, but by the time I tossed all the spoiled food from the refrigerator into the trash and tied up the bag, he was just pulling off our street.  I contemplated throwing the bag in the car and chasing him, but decided against it because it was just too much effort before my second cup of coffee.  

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-18841423336769087362008-06-02T11:12:00.002-05:002008-06-02T11:22:41.060-05:00

There are definite advantages to working from home, don't get me wrong.  But for every advantage, there is also a disadvantage.  So, for anyone considering a work-at-home career, take the following in to consideration.1. You might have a neighbor that likes to drive past your house on his riding lawnmower, thus making clients on the other end of the phone say, "What's that noise?"  Trying to

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-62282344396403462902008-05-31T10:20:00.005-05:002008-05-31T10:48:57.389-05:00

Well, I'm happy to say that I've got baby news......not my own of course, because we all know how well that seems to be going.But, one of my BFF's called yesterday to say she's cookin' a kid and I gotta say, if anyone deserves a little, it's her.  For all the time I've known her, she's wanted nothing more than to have a screeching child to chase around.  Bless her heart, she's watched countless

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-34272581400196049872008-05-26T15:25:00.003-05:002008-05-26T16:31:12.535-05:00

For any of you that had a rockstar Memorial Day weekend, I commend you. Whooping it up, drinking lots of fabulous beverages and eating lots of stuff off the grill. I hope you had some for me too.Our weekend was largely uneventful. An extended play date turned sleep-over turned to another play date gave the boy and I the first date night we've had since I don't know when. Nothing exciting,

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-39249493234033750142008-05-23T15:25:00.003-05:002008-05-23T15:35:36.035-05:00

I think the neighbor has decided that he's just going to spend the summer gainfully UNemployed while his wife works two jobs. If I were her, I'd probably kick his ass, but since she spends most of her time in tube socks pulled up to her belly button, her ninja skills might not be as excellent as mine.Needless to say, with all his spare time, Leaf Blower has spent a lots of days shirtless in his

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-9219640466121550512008-05-20T21:08:00.003-05:002008-05-20T21:20:47.927-05:00

Just now, two and a half days later, I'm finally able to talk about the rest of the kids' 9th birthday party. After the police incident, the girls were relatively well behaved. There was no jumping on beds, no screaming, and only slight bouts of screeching. There was lots of loud giggling though. I did manage to make it through the rest of the nite without ordering a pitcher of anything from

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-24692749673279738482008-05-17T16:36:00.004-05:002008-05-17T18:04:40.285-05:00

We've been the official guests in Room 605 at the Embassy Suites for a little over 2 hours now; and already, the police have been here.Not for us, but the seven screaming girls don't know that.We started in the pool, where they screamed, and swam, and jumped, and screamed some more. In fact, I noticed that shortly after we arrived pool-side, ever single adult in the hot tub cleared out -

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-77929494138330347502008-05-15T20:08:00.003-05:002008-05-15T20:50:45.346-05:00

Ok, so there's not actually any pies involved at this point, but it could be coming.....And I'm sorry that I haven't been around; the sad part is, I've spent much of my time lately as a recluse, and therefore, nothing all that exciting has happened. In fact, we've all been in pretty pissy moods around here.The boy finally read the blog and realized that I was making fun of him here, and here,

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-68265754498950098252008-05-09T19:54:00.005-05:002008-05-09T20:23:56.104-05:00

I've spent the majority of my week, laying on the couch, alternating ice packs and heating pads, with a remote and my laptop. Attempting to work on work, but working the trashy t.v. a hell of a lot harder.So, what's newsworthy from my couch? Not a whole lot. But I did hear an interesting concert announcement today: The Backstreet Boys are coming to New Hampshire. Now, my initial reaction was

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-82046185431498030252008-05-05T08:02:00.002-05:002008-05-05T08:08:00.675-05:00

You can tell that you're getting old when sitting on a concrete floor for an hour is enough to cripple you.And that's exactly what it did.You see, on Thursday's, I volunteer my time to teach a knitting class at the kids' school. And this past Thursday, I spent an hour, on a concrete floor, on my knees twisting back and forth. When I tried to stand up, I went down, hard.So my weekend was

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-84476831075543510432008-05-01T12:26:00.003-05:002008-05-01T12:32:55.144-05:00

Which is why I haven't written in a while.Recently, I've found out that 5 - count 'em - FIVE people that are in my immediate circle of family and friends, are pregnant.  F.I.V.E.Like, are they drinking special water or something?  And if so, I'm pretty sure it's the same damn water that's running through these faucets and I've got nothing in utero. Zip. Zilch. Zero. Nada.Which makes me weepy.

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-91054611862716392662008-04-22T07:01:00.004-05:002008-04-23T22:19:53.989-05:00

Did you know that we actually pay $3000 a year in property taxes so I can sit in my kitchen and watch Leaf Blower and No Neck sit shirtless in their driveway drinking lemonade and eating BBQ potato chips? I didn’t realize that was why our taxes were so high either, until Sunday.  Apparently, when the assessor takes a look at your property, they eyeball the neighbors and say, “Yeah, let’s tack on

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-13973675850214139462008-04-19T16:48:00.003-05:002008-04-19T16:59:57.757-05:00

In high school, I had a pretty great boyfriend whose parents introduced me to grilled cheese made with Wonder Bread and Velveeta. Apparently, everyone but me knew about the yummy goodness such a grilled cheese held.Today, I got to thinking about that grilled cheese and decided to make one. Trying to be slightly health-conscious, I made it with wheat bread and low-fat Velveeta. I've got to say,

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-81513950790976150712008-04-18T14:44:00.002-05:002008-04-18T14:50:37.973-05:00

Just when I thought that my Friday was going to pass with only the mild annoyance that Leaf Blower could bring, I woke from an afternoon siesta to the sounds of a kickball bouncing off the hood of my car.No Neck and his Thug friends must have had a 1/2 day of school.Then Mullet Mom started screeching out the window for them to watch what they were doing.And then No Neck says, "Guys, let's see if

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-11578804270131041092008-04-18T11:36:00.002-05:002008-04-18T11:43:04.552-05:00

When you open your freezer and the only two things in it are a Lean Cuisine and a bag of frozen bagels, it's a pretty good indicator that it's time to hit the grocery store. Where the hell did all our food go?Honestly, I don't deprive our family.....I just went to the store last week! I think we must have squatters when we're not here or something. Of course, between the cost of gas, and the

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-55820215315977592952008-04-13T12:45:00.002-05:002008-04-13T12:53:54.558-05:00

A funny thing happens here in the far corner of the Northeast.....when it hits 32.1 degrees, people go crazy! It's like, OMG, it's spring. Let's take out the tube tops and shorts! Snow plows be damned, it's like summa round hea!!!Yesterday was one of those days.....rainy in the morning, but clearing nicely mid-afternoon. I think it actually hit 50.......so what did I witness? Let's see:a chubby

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-68021888262290868532008-04-11T19:40:00.003-05:002008-04-11T20:00:31.221-05:00

There is something so completely relaxing about doing anything with the drone of a Red Sox game in the background - really. I know, I know, most of you probably don't picture me as a baseball fan, but those Red Sox had me at "hello," way back in 2000. But now, I'm trying to sit here and actually WATCH the game - the first game of the season that I've gotten to see - and I've got the dog

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-29010709064303844022008-04-10T08:17:00.002-05:002008-04-10T08:57:21.243-05:00

If my ultra-Republican, ultra-Catholic neighbors were in charge of publishing the Maine Sunday Telegram, the headline would undoubtedly read, "Smart Parents Warn Their Children: Vote Democrat and Die."This is basically what they told the kid the other day when she was over playing kickball with No Neck and Future Tranny Nanny (my fabulous neighbor came up with great new nicknames for them....I

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-64490526756407778142008-04-04T17:27:00.004-05:002008-04-04T18:04:13.086-05:00

Earlier today, I got an email with that exact title. Enclosed was a note from an old friend:"Hey Biz-nitch, where the hell are you? And why the hell aren't you blogging? You're my blogging star....please shine your light once again.....in other words, get your shit together and start being funny again!"Surely, he jests. But alas, I realized that it's been a while since I dropped a note. And

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-17729415475003561952008-03-28T07:58:00.002-05:002008-03-28T08:05:28.500-05:00

The sign in to town should read "Welcome to Sanford: Where Tapered Leg Jeans and Trailers Are the Lifestyle of Choice."What a complete shit hole that town is. I've never actually been to Sanford before yesterday, and I'm quit certain that I won't be going back any time soon - at least if I can help it. The town has wonderful stores lining the streets like "Roger's Supa Dolla," and "Cigarette

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com38tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-53553067879999631322008-03-22T08:02:00.003-05:002008-03-22T08:04:21.657-05:00

Yes, we've added to the brood.

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-48616663108214223822008-03-22T07:56:00.003-05:002008-03-22T08:01:49.273-05:00

As I creep closer to 31, and thus creep closer to "middle age," I've noticed some pretty distinct changes going on. These are not visible to the naked eye or my friends and neighbors, but I've noticed them. Prime examples that I'm no longer in my 20's:Cotton boy shorts have replaced cutsie thongs.Redbook and Family Circle sit on the bedside table because Cosmo has nothing for me.I know that the

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-89056796272786564652008-03-15T08:47:00.004-05:002008-03-22T09:16:55.874-05:00

It is a snowy Saturday morning here on the East Coast. While the boy is out plowing, I'm trying to get my About.com site ready to go live, and flipping through the channels - realizing quickly that there is absolutely nothing on Saturday mornings.Anyway, I landed on TLC and started watching Clean Sweep - that show where they basically put you on national television and tell you that you're a

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-17167632436166036532008-03-12T08:17:00.005-05:002008-03-22T08:06:11.487-05:00

Last night, a friend came over. This is the same friend that had the bad break-up a little over a year ago, and took off to meet her perfect Internet love match; remember the used car salesman? Ah, yes.So, she showed up with a bottle of wine last night, and we sat at the kitchen bar talking a bit. She told me a story that solidifies her place in the land of "Embracing Dysfunction, USA."See, she

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8331931.post-50952234328212453172008-03-12T07:51:00.003-05:002008-03-12T08:43:46.102-05:00

As I dropped the kid off at school the other day, I pulled up behind a fellow carpool mom and her mini-van. Now, I have issues with minivans; although I am not sure when it started. It could have been any of these particular moments:1)Halloween, Sophomore Year :: A group of friends and I had borrowed someone's parents minivan. We had splendid ideas of smashing pumpkins - and no, I'm not

Staciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070206894302999596noreply@blogger.com0