Nice Mullet

In need of normal

Well, here I sit, still on vacation, but desperately trying to carve out a little quiet space for myself. The wedding is over, and yes, as luck would have it, my brother's best man had a mullet. A mullet! Not only that, he embraces his mullet. I snapped a few pics of it, but my camera just ran out of juice and now I have to charge the batteries if I can find my charger. For a week, the tv has been on constantly and my mother's husband has had a constant buzz. Cheap rum and Mountain Dew have been consumed by the gallon.....seriously. In fact, earlier tonite, he was watching an old war movie, and speaking "Chinese" to no one in particular. At least, he thought it was Chinese. Not sure what my mother has ever seen in him.......

Luckily, I escaped for two nights to my BFF's house, but that siesta was far too short. We drank lots of vodka, ate lots of brie and then stalked old classmates on MySpace. Her poor husband has had his fill of women considering we are the exact same person in two different bodies; add the kid to the mix, and he was way out of his league. It was a good time. The next stop is my other good friend and the big meet and greet with her new husband, the UPS man.....and we all know how I feel about the men of UPS! I've promised her that I will try to contain myself and behave.

On our regular home front, I think the mate is ready for us to be home. Although, I don't think he'll every actually admit that he missed the drama that the kid and I bring to the table on a daily basis, he's acting out by having parties and making unauthorized, expensive, purchases.... lol. Thankfully, we leave to go home very, very soon......before he bankrupts us and gets arrested. And here he thought it was me that would need bail money!

Well, that's all for now. I'll post again very soon. So much too tell, but so little privacy to tell the stories in. I miss you all!!!

Wedding Eve

Well, we made it all the way here.....963 loooonnnngggg miles. But we did it. And we've been here for less than 2 full days, and already, I'm ready to pack 'er in and head home. Gas is $3.60 a gallon here, most likely because it seems that everyone drives an SUV. No kidding, when we stopped at the gas station, there were 15 vehicles there, including our car. The other 14 were either trucks or SUV's......and they wonder why they are considered a "high demand" area. Hmph. In addition to the outrageous gas prices, my mother is driving me absolutely crazy.......she's been bitching about the mother of the bride non-stop and every time I talk about going to visit my friends, she gives me this guilt trip, which pisses me off. Then last night, she was mad because the bridesmaids bought matching teal dresses and spent a bunch of time telling the kid that she was going to look out of place in her pink flower girl dress. So, now the kid wants a new flower girl dress. Aagh!

Anyway, sorry for the vent, but I can't help it. The TV is on constantly, and very loud.....did I mention it's also 65"? Who needs a television that is that large??? That's what it is out here though......who can have the most stuff? My mother's husband is a drunk truck-driver, and now he's around too and the conversations consist of him rambling while she yells and screams at him. I want my regular life back!!

On The Road......

Well, this post is coming to you from the NY Thruway......we've made it 1/4 of the way in to our journey and it's been pleasantly uneventful. Bleary eyed, we pulled out at 5:30 this a.m. and are spending the evening in Niagara Falls....I'll post some pictures - and updates of this suicide inducing wedding - on a regular basis......and of course, I will not be able to go an entire week without reading all of you either.

Oh! And one other MAJOR big-time deal-i-o for me!! I was selected to begin writing a "Dear Abbey" column of sorts.....except it's for mom's. Apparently, someone likes the obnoxious humor that I try to convey on this blog and wants me to do the same for the column. I will post a link as soon as I have one.

Until the next stop......

Looking for Technical Help

Alrighty bloggy friends.....I need your help. Ocassionally, I get a comment or two posted to my blog.....which thrills me to no end because I like to believe that I am not the only person who reads this thing! Anyway, I have searched and searched and have not yet found a way to respond to comments that are left via Blogger. Any suggestions? Is this why many of you prefer Typepad? Should I move? Egads! I don't know.......

This will now plague me until I can get a resolution.....and I'm leaving to go straight to Hell itself tomorrow, so act fast......I musn't be distracted whilst driving 963 miles!!!!

To the few that have left comments - plus Meg - thank you! I'm not ignoring you, I promise!!

Up North

Well, after a short trip up North, where the drink of choice is either B&J wine coolers or coffee brandy and Guns & Ammo outsells Glamour everytime, I'm packing up the kid and we're headed West, to an equally disturbing place; a little town called Zeeland, MI, where the high school mascot is a chicken (seriously) and there are 12+ churches for a population of 8000 people. Did I mention it's also a dry town? This should be interesting as it's a town I grew up in, and according to MySpace, most of my high school classmates are still hanging out there with their John Deer Tractors, and the gun racks in the back of their pick-up trucks. When I moved there at the age of 7, there was a sign as you drove in that said, and I'm so not kidding, "Welcome to Zeeland: where the chicks lay better." Humph. Even I knew that wasn't a good idea......needless to say, it's history is rich with chicken farming and the yummy place I used to work, Herman Miller. Oh, the days of ultra chic home furnishings for absolute pennies......I miss that job sometimes.

Wish me luck, this is the big wedding event.......a week to go and my mother is already fighting with the brides' mother; she's even told the bride's mother to tread lightly because her daughter is coming to town and, apparently, I'm supposed to be kicking someone's ass. She wonders why I live so far away.

All I can say is.....WTF?

OK, not a long post today, but, one of my little side jobs as a freelancer is writing articles about fashion trends.....I'm not a fashionista by any means, but I certainly know that this is so not cool.