The Dilemma

This morning when I got up and tinkled, I realized, too late, that we were out of toilet paper.

I looked in the bathroom cabinet. Nil.

I looked for a box of tissues. Nada.

Dammit. Now what? Ugh. Drip Dry.

So I come downstairs to look in what we lovingly refer to as "the bomb shelter." The big closet in the basement that stores the bottled water, the canned goods, the Coleman camping stove, and tons of candles. It is also where we usually store our year's supply of toilet paper and paper towels.

Do you think that I found any there? Hell no.

How does someone carry the last package of toilet paper upstairs and NOT mention that. Like, "hey, by the way, the next time you run to BJ's, can you pick up some TP? We're about to run out." This shit happens all the time in this house and it drives me nuts.

It's why I have a "running low list" on the fridge. As a big fat reminder that, when you notice we're almost out of butter or you drink the last of the milk, you write it on the list. Dog food, on the list. Cat litter, on the list. Toilet paper? NOT ON THE LIST!! The whole purpose of the list is so that, the next time someone goes to the store and says, "do we need anything while I'm out?" Someone else can read the list and say, "oh yeah, can you pick up butter, milk, and TOILET PAPER???"

What's worse is that the kid had a friend spend the night last night and so this morning, after my bathroom debacle, I was digging through every cabinet I could find to locate even just a few napkins that I could cut up into little squares of toilet paper. I hate to think what will happen when she goes home.

"Geez mom, Syd's family just has cut up napkins for toilet paper. It's so weird. Do you think they can't afford toilet paper?" Christ.

Anyway, moving on.....I also have a very special note to write here at the end of this blog. A note for someone that is currently overseas and who, although we're no longer friends, seems to read this blog regularly. Please stay safe.

Oh, and I also want you to know that, although I said that I would never talk to any of your friends again, that was before Facebook and some of your friends have "friended" me. I accepted that invitation - I hope that's alright. I wasn't really sure how to say no because I felt like it was pretty complicated. The only exception is Wendy - she hates me. Ok, that's it. I'll resume not speaking to you again.