Family Living Class

I remember being in 4th or 5th grade the first time we had a class about our bodies changing. In fact, I remember it vividly, being ushered into the school gym, one of those big projector screens looming above us up front, and then the screens with black backgrounds and white lettering.

Amazing how that first sex-ed class scars you for life, isn't it?

Several weeks ago, the kid brought home a permission slip to participate in "Family Living" class. When I was in school, there was never a permission slip, you just went. Your parents could come if they wanted to, but really, what kid wants their parents sitting with them while your instructor talks about growing pubic hair? I mean, really.

The kid swore up and down that she was absolutely not going. She threatened all sorts of things if I made her go. Here in our house, we're pretty open about the facts of life, so really, if she didn't go, it wasn't a huge deal. Then her teacher informed her that, for students who were not going to Family Living class, there would be a 5 page essay assigned.

In her mind, that settled it; she was going.

The first few classes weren't bad. They talked about the basics of hygiene, how your body would start changing, that sort of stuff. And then class 4 happened. On the way home from school that day, the kids says, "I had Family Living today."

"Oh yeah? What'd you learn about today?"

We're the only two people in the car, but she glances over her shoulder to make sure that no one is listening in on our conversation. Her voice begins quietly and then picks up steam. "We talked about....VAGINAS! Can you believe that? We talked about VAGINAS in a whole class full of boys."

"Well, it's part of the class."

"Do you know how embarrassing that was? To hear about my VAGINA in front of the boys?"

"Well, I'm sure they were embarrassed too."

"Actually, they looked scared. But when we talked about penises, the girls were laughing."

And then the conversation was over. She was done with it. So what did she learn in Family Living? Apparently that shouting the word vagina is acceptable, and to laugh whenever the word penis is uttered. Hm, maybe she's going to be a future cast member of The Vagina Monologues.