I'm a slacker

What is with me lately? One would think I've actually had a really exciting summer unfolding because I haven't been able to get here and blog a little bit o' something. But, that's not the case. Chaotic? Yes. Exciting? Not so much.

Last week involved the VW shitting the bed, not once, but twice and the Toyota giving an encore performance of it's prior "let's quit on a busy street during morning commute"; not only that, I was called down to the 'man room' to identify a foreign substance on the carpet - turned out to be mold. We rounded out the weekend with two parties, both at our house; one with 9 screaming 8-year-old girls (please pass the drama) and the other, about 25 screaming adults, not all of whom were actually invited. Beautiful.

The kids belated birthday party went off quite nicely considering we were at Wal-Mart at 7:30 that morning to buy all the goody-bag stuff, which by the way, when did that trinkety crap get so expensive? As I'm walking out of the store, I'm looking at two bags filled with plastic necklaces and rubber bracelets and wondering why on earth it cost me $65. Then it was off to the market where the cart quickly filled with Cheetos, Smartfood, Lemonade, Chocolate Cake and Vodka. As our yard filled with screaming children throwing water balloons and lots of laughter (lol) we had the party girl running in and out of the house "Mumma, can we open the gifts? Mumma, can we have the cake? Mumma, can we eat? Mumma, can we open the gifts? Mumma,......" Egads! Mumma needs a drink! So, as I charred a few hotdogs (since our grill only cooks on super-hot) I nursed a vodka tonic; by the time gift opening got started, I was one happy camper. "Oh! Looky, looky! It's $20! How 'bout we give that to mommy and let her put it in a safe place for you?" The gig was up because apparently, I'm not the only parent that pulls that scam. They all looked at me skeptically and, when the parent of that kid showed up, she actually tattled on me! "Mom, Syd's mom wanted to take the $20 we gave her!" came filtering through the kitchen window. The reply? "Oooh.....well, I'm sure she was just going to put it in a safe place." As she shot a look back over her shoulder and whispered something else in her daughter's ear. As I watched them leave, mortified, and knowing that this little tale would spread throughout the schools parenting community "Don't go to any parties you are invited to over at Syd's house," I poured another vodka tonic.

Several hours later, our little housewarming shin-dig kicked off and was quite a success. Almost everyone whom we invited showed up and then one of the mate's friends took it upon herself to invite some of his other old-school friends. The party crashers arrived and I panicked because:

a) I was already intoxicated so it just seemed like the right thing to do
b) They are socially inept and stalled at 18
c) They have been the cause of many-a-argument between the mate and I
d) Some of my friends are officers of the law and these people all have mug shots

No, it's not multiple choice...... A wise friend told me to "put it on a balloon and let it go" so I did just that and hung out on the deck with my friends while the mate played host to his friends. I came to find though that my friends are not much better, they're just different. We had a Master Cat Humper (very long story) and the friend with the pretend balloons who thought LOL meant lots of love. Not such a big deal until you find out she's been sending out emails like "Oh, your uncle died? I'm so sorry. LOL, me" She wonders why her friends don't email her back.

All in all, it was a great weekend to follow a pretty not-so-great week. Now we're half way thru another week and instead of working on what I need to get done, I'm busy taking this quiz to find out that, indeed, I'm a slacker mom. I'm also enjoying this blog.

Until next time,
LOL