Raking the Roof

Lately, we've had a lot of snow 'round these parts. And my someday spouse has spent his time plowing all of it - not our driveway of course.....he's been plowing for other people. Which has left me home alone with the kid, the dog, and a shovel for most of the winter.

Now, I've paid my dues. I've been out there shoveling the driveway during every single storm. Sometimes, I even shovel more than once. And I only complain occasionally about it - most often when I'm standing at the end of the driveway that I just spent three hours shoveling, only to watch the City plow truck turn the corner and bury me again. I've contemplated flipping off the driver, but he's just so damn friendly, waving and smiling at me when he goes by, that I just can't seem to do it. Instead, I start shoveling again, and I swear a lot.

This week, the someday spouse worked for 26 hours straight. I knew he was exhausted, and I did my best to keep up with the snow here. What I failed to do was rake the roof. There are a number of reasons that I didn't do it.....that damn thing is huge, our roof is really tall, and damn it, I just didn't feel like it. So Saturday morning, over coffee, he says to me, "You know, now might be a really good time for you to learn how to use the roof rake."

I'm sure the comment was meant to be innocent. I'm sure it was meant to mean "you know, in case I'm not home for 26-hours and you want to get ahead of the ice damns that are now so heavy they're ripping the gutters off of our half-a-mil-hobbit-house," but, of course, I'm a woman, so I didn't take it that way. Instead, my response was, "Oh, you think so? Well, that's fine. I'll rake the roof. Don't you worry. And I'll shovel the driveway, and the patio, and the deck. Oh, and I'll make sure you have a hot meal on the table too. Don't you worry one little bit honey, you'll never have to ask ME to rake the roof again."

I'm sure you can already see where this is going.

I geared up, got the roof rake, and headed outside. What I didn't realize was just how damn heavy and awkward that thing is. So, as the someday spouse stood in the kitchen with his cup of coffee, I stood on a snowbank behind the house, wildly wielding a 20-foot roof rake. I'm not sure if it was because I almost broke the kitchen window or if it had something to do with the shutter I ripped off the house, but he came outside in a hurry.

I'm pretty sure he won't be asking me to rake the roof again any time soon.