Cakes and Pies.....and Cookies Too!

Ok, so there's not actually any pies involved at this point, but it could be coming.....

And I'm sorry that I haven't been around; the sad part is, I've spent much of my time lately as a recluse, and therefore, nothing all that exciting has happened. In fact, we've all been in pretty pissy moods around here.

The boy finally read the blog and realized that I was making fun of him here, and here, and he's been whiney since; at one point saying, "stop making me look like an asshole to all these people that read this stupid thing that don't even know me."

I tried to explain that it wasn't just him I made fun of.....I also make the neighbors look like assholes, his parents look like assholes, and random strangers I don't even know look like assholes when people read this thing. That didn't help.

Anyway, I digress. On to the cakes and cookies.

The kids' birthday is on Saturday - the big 0-9!! Wow! Where has the time gone? So, like any good mom does, I told her I'd bake her cookies to take to school tomorrow. We decided on these.

My mission today was simple: go to JoAnn's and get cookie sticks, sprinkles and some sort of "make the frosting pretty" contraption. My experience at JoAnn's, as usual, left something to be desired. However, instead of the annoying girl and Estelle Costanza, I had the really chic (and thin and tan) woman with her baby in the cart. "oooh, do you see what that says arie? It says light of my life.....who's my wittle wite of my wife??? Is that you arie? Are you my wittle wite of my wife???"

The poor child, who had a bow in her hair that was as big as her head just looked at her mother, screamed, and threw some soft of scrap booking supply at her face. Yet the mother was undeterred. I'm still not sure though if I was more disturbed by the way the mother talked to her kid, or the bow she had in her hair.

Anyway, back to the cookies. So, in theory, the umbrellas look easy and cute. And one mom even hopped on and reviewed them and said they were great, so I figured, why not? Clearly, they paid that mom because she lied. Those scallops are a bitch. A real mom's take? Don't waste your cookie dough.

So then we switched to daisy-shaped cookies on a stick. I had a cookie cutter, so I thought this would be a relatively easy alternative. They came out looking pretty damn yummy.

The problem? They didn't fit in the cute little bags with the twisty ties that I had bought. So we made them smaller, and then had a problem with the frosting smearing on the bags; admittedly, I should have seen that coming.

So nearly four hours later, the kid has cookies, all wrapped in cute bags with twisty ties that are daisy's, minus frosting, plus colored sugar - I thought it was a fair trade. Tomorrow, I have to tackle her cake.

Wanna hedge bets I'll be drinking by noon?