Men are from Mars

A week or so ago, Meg and I ran in to each other and we were chatting about how, often, it is really just easier to do things yourself. The conversation started out about the kids, but inevitably ended with us discussing our significant others. Meg had a really great view about it, and I've come back to her comments on more than one occasion in this last week. She said, in a nutshell, that you're either seething with frustration because what needs to be done is so blatantly obvious and the other half is just ignoring it, or, you're seething with frustration because you're finally fed up with them ignoring it and you're taking care of it. So, it's really just easier to do it yourself in the first place. In light of our conversation I'm debating a note in my someday-spouses lunch box. It will go something like this:

Dear Someday Spouse,

I've realized that "seething with frustration" is often what I am. And that "frustration" darling, is you. I know that, when it comes to confrontation, you immediately tune me out. And since I'm so incredibly sensitive to your needs, I'm not going to confront you; instead I've written you this nice little love note. And, just to make sure that you actually read the whole thing, there will be a quiz when you get home tonite; if you pass, we'll have sex.

I am "seething with frustration" for the following reasons:

#1. Is it really that hard to put your dirty plate in the dishwasher? Actually, if you could just get it to the sink even, we'd be making progress.

#2. When the dishwasher is full of dirty dishes and it just needs soap, why don't you put soap in it? Oh, that's right, you don't actually open the dishwasher to put anything in it, so how would you know that it needs to be run?

#3. Let's talk about laundry. See, I love this one. The kid does her own laundry and I do not complain about doing the rest. However, when you decide to take the initiative (which I applaud you for) to do some laundry, how about we put it in the dryer too? You know, instead of leaving it wet in the washer for three or four days so it gets moldy and needs to washed again?

#4. When you decide to dry the laundry, dry everything. It is a dead giveaway when I open the washer only to find semi-wet laundry, in disarray. In case you hadn't noticed, when you open the washer, everything is mashed against the sides from the spin cycle. When you pull out only the things you need to dry, it's obvious.

#5. And, finally, when you feel nagged to death, and you finally do clean, please do not expect a parade, or brownies, or even a little gold star sticker. I do not have any of these things for you. I do not get any of these things when I do my duties as your someday spouse.

I realize that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, but we live here, on Earth. And yes, I'm all about compromise, don't get me wrong. But I'm already compromising when I wipe dribbles off the bathroom seat that you don't lift and when I collect wet towels from our bedroom floor because you refuse to bring them back down to the bathroom.

So sweetie, can you just do me the favor of implementing the above in to your daily routine. I will be much happier and nicer to live with, which in turn, will make your life much easier too. And I know you're all about nice 'n easy darling..........

Love,
Your Someday Spouse