For any of you that are burdened with being one of my nearest and dearest friends, you have at inevitably heard about the troubles that my gram has with my "unmarried" status.....specifically that I am currently raising my child with little regard for morals or what is "right." For the last little while, she has happily made snide remarks about me living in sin.....and dear God, let's NOT go down the road of my prior divorce!! Once, when discussing infidelity, she actually made the statement "if a man is cheating on his wife, she should be happy; it's one less thing she has to worry about!" WTF?!? Are you kidding me?? Relevant or not, let me interject here that my father happens to be adopted......
Anyway, at a meal sometime around Thanksgiving a conversation went something like this:
Gram: while addressing everyone at the table "Can you believe this weather?"
Random Answer: I know.....hmm....
Gram: the other day (sneak attack kick me under the table) I was out with the dog (side comment: whore) and I just needed a light sweater......
As my mouth is hanging open, no one else seems to realize that she, my 85 year old grandmother, has just kicked me under the table, called me a whore out of the side of her mouth, and managed to continue her conversation about absolutely nothing without missing a beat. I mean, do you even use the word whore when you're 85? Funny enough, at Christmas, when I showed her my sparkly new engagement ring, the only thing she had to say was "oh, that's nice." I have come to terms with the fact that her position will never change; however, just because I am my father's child, I think I might send her this article.
Don't get me wrong, I love my gram. She and my gramp have both been tremendously inspirational to me over the years.....but come on already!!!!
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