So, after I dropped the kid off for her swim practice last nite, I headed to the public library to get some books I needed. Heading on down to the first floor, I decide to make a pit stop in the the little girls room. Imagine my surprise as I bolt thru the door and run smack in to a woman, naked, singing about poop. And yes, I only wish I were kidding. She also happened to be in the bathroom that is right next to the kids library room; thank God it wasn't little Sally Someone that went walking in there first.
Butt naked. God.
You know, earlier yesterday, a friend of mine and I were talking about the "good ole days" when we both used to work with prisoners. He used to do transport in a different state, I used to work with them here, right in their comfy little housing pods at the County Jail. Either way, you see some of the strangest stuff. And when I was working with them, the most interesting character I met, by far, was BatWoman. A woman who was not allowed to come out of her cell to chat with me, or anyone else for that matter, because she refused to get dressed. Apparently, I attract the "clothing optional" peeps of the world.
Anyway, when I walked in to her "batcave" she was wearing nothing but a pair of pink underwear - on her head. Imagine my surprise! I remember thinking, "does anyone really question whether she needs a lawyer? How about we just request a psych exam right now." Alas, we chatted for a bit; she was really quite interesting. Did you know that BatWoman canNOT make herself invisible? Here's a sample of our conversation:
M: So, what happened?
B: I left my wallet in the library. (what is it with naked people and the library?!?)
M: And then what?
B: The library closed so I pulled the fire alarm next door so the fireman would come and let me back in to get it.
*I have to interject that, at this moment, a lot of thoughts were swirling thru my head like "she's pretty damn crafty" and "bite your tongue and do not ask her about superpowers!"
M: Well, you are BatWoman; why didn't you just use your superpowers to become invisible? You could have slipped right thru the door then. (Oops. It slipped, I swear.)
B: I'm BatWoman! I don't have invisible powers.
Check please!! Do you know how hard it is to keep a straight face while sitting in an 8x8 cell with a naked woman that is wearing pink underwear on her head?
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