Flight Risk

This goddamn dog is going to be the death of me; honestly.  It's not bad enough that he can physically jump a 4 1/2' fence without any effort, it's that he continues to do it ALL. THE. EFFING. TIME.

And each time, one of us chases him all over the neighborhood, until he decides that he's so tired he just can't go on and he lays down, with his tongue hanging out of his mouth.  But once he lays down, he won't get back up again.  Like, "Oh, but my 70-pound fat ass just ran all over the neighborhood and now I don't have enough energy to prance back to the house. I guess you'll just have to carry me."

And I want to scream, "Yeah, well my fat ass just ran all over the neighborhood too you stupid shit.  And I got in a fight with a short fat woman with a lab who swears you were trying to bite her damn dog, when in all actuality you were just trying to play.  Oh, and you see that black and white f*ck-face? That's the cops. The same cops that the fat lady with the lab called because you're running around the neighborhood, loose, acting like an asshole.  So, YES, you will get your fat ass up and you will WALK home Mister, RIGHT. NOW."

Of course, if I actually say that out loud, the random neighbor whose yard I'm standing in the middle of with a piece of cheese in one hand and a hot dog in the other will likely think that I'm far nuttier than I actually am.  But, the thought ran through my head.

Why, oh why, can't this dog stay in the yard?  I mean, it's not like we've got a postage stamp out here; it's a big effing yard. Ugh.