Friday, June 06, 2008

I Hate Stringy Bananas

I've been having some pretty piss-poor luck with food today.

First, I tried to beat the garbage guy today, but by the time I tossed all the spoiled food from the refrigerator into the trash and tied up the bag, he was just pulling off our street.  I contemplated throwing the bag in the car and chasing him, but decided against it because it was just too much effort before my second cup of coffee.  So now, I have a bag full of rotten food sitting in the trash can outside; who wants to lay money on a raccoon family moving in soon?

Then, I really wanted and egg and cheese sandwich from the Double D's, but remembered that we're trying to stick to this thing called a budget, and we're not allowed to use the debit card for things like that.  So I swore at myself because I didn't have any cash with me.  Then I swore again because the debit card thing was my stupid rule to begin with, so I can't even be the first one to break it.

I came home and made an egg and cheese sandwich here, but ended up with 1/2 the egg shell in my egg, but in a million little pieces.  So I, of course, swore some more.  I once dated a guy that could crack an egg with one hand AND keep all the shells out of it.  I probably should have asked him to teach me that at some point.  Needless to say, digging egg shells out of a slimy egg is really no fun, and it's a lot of work.  Had it not been the last egg in the house, I would have just thrown it away and started over.

And now, I've just had the pleasure of eating a little snack of precisely 28 almonds (yes,  counted them) and a banana.  But the banana was stringy.  I hate stringy bananas.  Just when you bite off a chunk, you have a big stringy thing hanging down your chin.  Or across your arm (not sure how that one got there).

If I didn't love food so much, I'd really contemplate giving it up.

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