Why I Don't Grocery Shop with The Boy

I have a lot of friends that refuse to shop with their other half, simply because there is always an argument at the store. Whether it's over what to buy, how much they're spending, or just what section of the store to start in (produce or dairy), they've all got a story.

I, on the other hand, don't mind shopping with the boy. Sure he usually tries to sneak Yodel's in the cart, and he often begs for crap like Cocoa Puffs, it's not a bad trip.

Until today.

After we got all hopped up on Starbucks, we headed to the local Hannaford. After navigating the aisles and loading up the conveyor belt, I stood in line to pay while he ran outside to grab the car. I go outside and he hops out to help load the bags in the car. We make quick work of it and I go return the cart.

When I come back outside, the car is gone.

I scan the parking lot and realize that he's all the way at the other end of the parking lot, near the actual entrance, with his blinker on to leave. I start to jog down the sidewalk, thinking he's stopped to wait for me, and calling him an asshole the whole way.

Then I notice that the car is moving, but not in my direction.

It was then that I realized he was leaving without me.

I was just getting ready to call him when I saw the reverse lights pop up. I climb back in the car and slam the door shut.

Me: Oh, you're really funny.....asshole.

Him: *nervous chuckle*

Me: What's so funny? Were you trying to be funny?

Him: No.

Me: What the hell were you doing then?

Him: Driving home.

Me: Without me?!?

Him: I didn't realize you weren't in the car.

I'm speechless, but sadly, not surprised.