Happy New Year - A Little Bit Late.....

The beginning of my New Year has been hectic and crazy. Even though I've gotten a ton done, I feel like I've gotten nothing done; it's frustrating.

So how about you? Anything exciting? Did you get what you wanted for Christmas? Did you paint the town red on New Year's Eve?

I spent much of the week between Christmas and New Year's playing my new Wii Fit. I'm a big fan of the hula-hooping. And I'm pretty effing awesome at it too. Though I'm sure that I look absolutely ridiculous swinging my hips around.

New Year's Eve we were invited to a party - two hours before it started - and had to decline. Sometimes I wonder why babysitter issues never occur to people who have no children. So, it was a 6-hour Disney marathon and an amped up kid poking me to open my eyes as the ball dropped at midnight. Truly, it's pretty pathetic.

On the bright side, the boy finally (after much nagging from the kid) decided to teach her how to ice skate. I was thoroughly impressed. He took her out, got her fitted for skates, and took her to the pond, all in the same day. The next day, they took me with them, and the sight of them whizzing around the pond and laughing together was enough to make my breath catch in my throat.

I've been waiting a really long time to see them find some common ground. Then, when she took a spill, he was by her side brushing her off before I could even comprehend what had happened.

I know that I spend a lot of time picking on him when I write this blog, but I've got to be honest: I couldn't have ended up with a better man in my life.

I'm going to sign off before I start getting all weepy and shit.

My Whiney Ass Can't Stop Complaining.

I got this really hair-brained idea lately that I should start keeping a gratitude journal. Nothing fancy, just a few notes every morning about the things in my life that I'm grateful for. The purpose of the exercise was to try and pep me up. Make me a happy gal. Get me out of my funk.

Now, maybe I'm a little sick and twisted, but the shit I'm thankful for is really pretty lame. And when I'm writing down the teeny little stuff that I'm thankful for (that the boy shoveled the driveway before he left for work), I'm thinking about all the really big shit that I'm pissed about (that he waited until the last possible second to try to buy the shoes I asked him for as a Christmas gift and now he can't find them so I'll be the only person at home without anything to open). I realize in the grand scheme of things that this last sentence makes me a) incredibly shallow and b) sound really dumb for complaining about shoes when there's all sorts of people starving in the world.

But here's the deal. I'm not so much pissed about the fact that I won't have a gift under the tree to open, I'm more pissed about the fact that he waits until the last possible minute to do anything. Therefore, most of everything falls in my lap. I'm finding it difficult to turn that into something I'm grateful for in my little gratitude journal.

Other things I'm not grateful for :: all this effing snow, the fact that infertility testing involves the boy sperminating (Sarah's word) in a plastic cup which he's mad at me about, that tomorrow will probably be a snow day which means I'll spend the whole day explaining that "no I can't entertain you right now because I have work to do," to a child that just doesn't get that the world does not revolve around her 24/7. I'm not grateful that it's so effing cold, nor am I grateful for the fact that our firewood supplier screwed us out of 2 cords and $400; I hope he has a shitty holiday. Oh, and I'm also really not grateful that I totally lack willpower and I inhaled almost an entire 9x9 pan of brownies today - for breakfast.

So, what am I grateful for? I'm grateful for my job - I love the fact that I get paid to sit home and write every single day. I'm grateful that I had most of my holiday shopping done way ahead of time and that I have a snowblower and I'm not afraid to use it. I'm grateful that my daughter gave up her crusade to keep us from running the dishwasher because I couldn't take one more sinkful of dirty dishes. And mostly, I'm grateful for the fact that even though it's really effing cold out, it's pretty darn purty looking.

Ok, so I'm not a total grinch. And now I'm going to sign off, go put my feet up by the fire, knit some more, drink a big fat glass of Pinot, and finish watching The Wizard of Oz with the kid.

Happy Holidays!

I Seem To Disappear A Lot Lately.

But I promise that I've had a majorly good excuse. Really.

First, I had to get ready for Thanksgiving with my grandparents - you know, the now 86-year-old grandmother who calls me a whore and questions how I raise my daughter every time she sees me? Oh yeah, that one. In anticipation, I decided to cook a little side-dish as sort of a, "look at me grammie, really, I'm a grown-up. I even cook." I made my friend Jessica's Spelt and Roasted Squash Salad, which was really effing yummy; you should totally try it.

Dinner at gram's ended up being quite pleasant - no name calling - and after 6 years, she's finally taken down the family portrait of my ex-husband, the kid, and I. Wow. Could we be moving on? That's all I want for Christmas......

After dinner, the kid decided to stay with my parents for the long weekend. As an added bonus, the boy was working 12 hour days. Are you adding this up? I ended up having so much alone time I wasn't sure what to do with myself. My intent was to work - which I did. Putting together holiday looks for baby boys, gift guides for baby boys and girls under $15 and $25 dollars, moderating forums, and pulling together gift guides for highly fashionable adults too. But all that only took me like, one day. I still had a lot of time to fill. So, what did I do?

• Trolled Facebook and surprisingly found my friend KLJ. Since her work email seems to hate me and I can't get messages about knitting to her that way, I'm hoping we can chat via Facebook now and set up dates that way. Hint, hint KLJ....log in to FB.
  
• I tracked down the man whom we purchased firewood from - who cheated us out of 1.5 cords, and asked when we would see the rest of our wood. He hung up on me so I called the police and was told I needed to sue him in Civil Court. Great.
• I played Guitar Hero - a lot.
• I ate 2 pints of Ben & Jerry's Half-Baked FroYo.
• I did NOT go shopping - except online.
• I watched a ton of television - HGTV, TLC, Lifetime......
• I knitted a new pair of fingerless gloves.
• I cleaned my house.

I was so productive I can barely stand it. And when the kid came home on Sunday afternoon, I felt so refreshed, it was like I was a new person. I'm not going to lie, I now understand how important it is to take a time-out and that will be my New Year's Resolution; taking time for me.

In other unrelated news, Prevention Magazine has asked me to participate in their Flat Belly Diet program for 32 days and blog about it for their online community. I think it's with like 49 other women. Do you think they're trying to tell me something??

Anyway, on to a diet, a lawsuit, and more gift guides.....I promise I won't disappear for another 2 weeks this time.....

PHTSD :: Post-Holiday Traumatic Stress Disorder

I think it should become part of the line-up, don't you? After a 36-hour crafting marathon, 6 hours of baking, an unplanned trip to the pediatrician's office and a crap-load of wrapping, I've decided that it should be a federal mandate that the day after Christmas also be considered a holiday. How else are you supposed to recoup?

It started innocently enough. I called the out-laws to check on the attendance for the Christmas Eve dinner. To my surprise, there were all sorts of people coming that I didn't know about.....and they all had gifts for the kid! "Oh, yeah, and Suzie from next door is coming with her second-cousin-twice removed. Just so you know, they're bringing a little something for Sydnie." So, of course, I feel obligated to bring something for them. This is when all hell broke loose at our house.

And yes, that's an empty pizza box in the bottom right corner.....because I was too damn lazy to a) cook the night before and b) to put it in the recycling before I started cooking. I know, completely ridiculous. Anyway, some yummy goodness came out of it all, like this granola.



After baking brownies, peanut butter cookies, this granola, blueberry muffins, chocolate cheerio trail mix and pumpkin apple bread, I made up 8 boxes and headed to the outlaws where we dealt with extended family and friends; always a great treat. My family is crazy in a funny sort of ha-ha way; his family is certifiably nuts in a "should be institutionalized" sort of way. Lots of yelling at their overgrown puppy that kept taking food off the table and discussions about pregnant dogs and their enlarged nipples. It was great.

Back at home, we told the kid that she had to let us sleep for 8 hours. We didn't care what time she got up, but she had to go to bed 8 hours before. So, she headed off to slumber at 10, but ended up bawling her eyes out in frustration over not being able to go to sleep. "How do people do this?? It's agony!!" she sobbed. I felt terrible for her so I laid down with her and ended up falling asleep myself. All well and good until I woke up at 12:30 only to realize that I still had to put one more coat of Mod Podge on her suitcase and wrap a few gifts plus stuff the stockings. First I tackled the suitcase and figured it would dry while I was stuffing stockings. It turned out pretty well.


After stuffing stockings, I decided I was far too tired to wrap gifts, so several ended up under the tree just as they were. We had a small stumble at 4am, but she went back to sleep after grabbing her stocking. As I peeled my eyelid open at 5:58, I could still hear her snoring and I smiled, foolishly thinking that she would sleep until at least 6:30.....a full 8 1/2 hours after going to bed.

At 5:59, a small finger repeatedly poked me in the shoulder while a little voice shout-whispered "It's 1 minute before 6!" The tree was opened before 7:30 and we then made the trip up north where my grandmother was her lovely self - slanderous remarks and all. Just the exclamation point I needed for my theme slogan this holiday season.