The Wal-Mart Experience

I realize at times, my sarcasm may drip a bit too thick; but yesterday as I am leaving the Wally World parking lot, I realized why I am not a frequent shopper there, and it's not just because of this.

As I roll through the check-out, I am encountered by an overly friendly cashier named Beth. Now, we're not talking, like "hey, how's your day going" I'm talking super wattage smile so big they could have turned out the lights and the place would still have been functioning. Almost that hyper-active "I'm going to jump out of my skin" smile that you get when you find something entertaining, but you've just polished off three shots of espresso, so you can't quite control yourself. Anyway, I swipe my card and pop it back in my wallet and I get "opsie! it's asking me for your card so I can verify who you really are!" Now, I've always had a problem with this because if they don't ask for your drivers license, or something with a picture, how the hell do they know that you're really the person it says on the card? Anyway, I stray......

She sees my last name and she like "McClintock! I know a Lisa McClintock right up in Athens Maine, yes I do! I'm from Athens myself!" If you've ever been to Athens, you know why this is a statement that should never be uttered to anyone. If you live in a village where the goal is to marry the girl with the most teeth and your house is decorated with mounted deer heads, you don't admit that you're actually from there. The cashier rambled on for almost 5 minutes about how she knew my step-mum......it actually turns out that she doesn't know her, but has a friend that has a friend that knows her.....the beauty of small-town Maine.

So, I get through that and we head for the parking lot and I'm almost plowed down by a Dodge Intrepid with the license plate "IM MEME" - this is obviously someones mother who has embraced the nickname that her grandchildren have given her. And this always makes me wonder, what is it about these nicknames that are so appealing? It's almost as though, when women become grandmothers, they suddenly lose all sense of judgement. The same thing has happened with my mother. When Syd was little she loved Teletubbies - particularly the yellow one named LaLa. Guess what she calls my mother? And guess who mailed us a sweatshirt with a glittery princess on the front, along with the words "Lala's little princess"........needless to say, the sweatshirt has never been seen outside the walls of our home.